The Evolution of Evangelicalisticism

"I believe in evolution. Are you prepared to reject me for it?"

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I used to be a Christian creationist. It began as a teenager in what I would now characterise as a fundamentalist church scene; back then I would just have said we were right.

Simultaneously my Biology classes took me down into the technical details of evolutionary theory. I reveled in the contrasts: reading about natural selection from one book in one hand, and about the 'evolutionarily impossible' Lewis overthrust from another. I stopped resisting evolutionary theory at University - I'm not sure when. It wasn't so painful then.

But increasingly, the world is polarising around the issue (see Economist). I have myself been challenged to accept that creationism is an essential Christian creed. My response had been to be meek and mild and hide behind my development work. But recently, I told a strident pastor, "I believe in evolution. Are you prepared to reject me for it?" He admitted the answer was no.

It is what I call 'evangelicalisticism' (the religion OF being an evangelical) - or 'folk evangelicalism' - which I believe gives passion to some of the growing problem. Not carefully considered Theology. In fact, creationism is not a fundamental tenet of Christian belief. I want to start saying so more and more loudly (though to be honest, I'm afraid to). And no, I won't try to argue the case for evolution. I will simply resist the aggressive sycophancy which is making this issue more and more problematic. (See Christianarchy by Dave Andrews.)

Why the rant here? Because oppressive, facipulative motives for 'doing development' make me sick, and I can smell them from some of my kin. Go ahead and accuse me of conspiracy-related delusions; but I know, because at times I've not resisted: even helped launch some on such endeavours.

"...it's hard trying to save the world."

Sometimes I just need to switch off - do some SCUBA diving maybe; it's hard trying to save the world.

Of course, I know that's not my intent, regardless of misguided family, friends, or random hecklers. But sometimes I wonder... Why exactly do I do what I do? Why not just try and make money somewhere? The thing is, I am somewhat revulsed by the thought even though much of the development work I ultimately supervise is directed towards micro-enterprise. But is that a pathological problem? I was told so once...

Some who believe in God have asked me previously to describe my 'calling'; my parents were Christian missionaries and can describe the 'almost-voice', the 'words-coming-alive' in their Bible readings, which they say pulled them out of their comfort zones and into a mission agency.

Not me. The closest corollary for me would be a sense of being 'driven'. If those same Christians looked up words from one of their own saints: Paul, they'd find an old translation of one of his quotes describing his motivation which says something like, "...love constrains me..." I understand that the Greek word translated 'constrain' is quite a violent one (and the meaning of the English word used 500 years ago has drifted), so it should apparently now mean: "...love compels me..."

Can such a sense of drivenness be positive? I remember one particularly oppressive country where I told myself (and my wife) that two years was the limit that I could be driven by anger: I'd have to escape after that to cool down. But generally, I have not burned out though I am somewhat cooler-headed. I like to think that I am not fleeing some childhood demon - but who knows? Probably not a psychosis (not even organic), though maybe a neurosis? Anyway, it keeps me going…