I'mpotent?

"...my biggest barriers are probably my staff..."

My 'field' experience involved the development of Participatory Learning & Action (PLA) approaches to extreme forms of social exclusion, sometimes in dangerous places, and usually with almost overwhelming despair. I still recall entering a third floor brothel in New Delhi during one initiative: perhaps projecting intense anguish onto the girl child trying to provide me 'services' as I accompanied the project team. Or the photos of drug users in Manipur with huge padlocks clipped into their ears as insurgent punishments, as I accompanied a staff learning visit there. Or prisoners with AIDS in another part of Asia facing death and no support aside from what each other could provide, locked up as they were, eight to a cage.

Now I'm in management, trying to bring authentic participation into our large regional programme. I used to do it - pioneered some techniques and venues. And sure, I've got high level support. But I struggle to find and implement a tool which can lead to the huge transformation of mind-sets needed to make it a reality. How can I say this without being disparaging, but my biggest barriers are probably my staff (or maybe it's just me), not high level policy 'wonks'.

Even Robert Chambers took three years to recover from what he called a 'seminal' power-relations workshop run by ActionAid in which he partook (Ideas for Development page 113); can I afford the fall-out of trying something similar with my own management team - I suspect my Board would not look kindly on dramatic disruption. So how to deliver? I just feel impotent.